Monday, April 30, 2012

In another life...

       In another life, I would have listened to my mother. I would never have spoken to you. You wouldn't have scraped your way into my head and effected my every decision since High School. I would have not felt tainted by my urges; driven toward the darker side of my psyche.
       In another life, I would have stayed as innocent as I believed myself to be. I would not have jumped from relationship to relationship, seeking for the unattainable 'true love' that you once made me believe I had with you. I would have been content with what I found.
       In another life, I would have taken school more seriously. I would not have treated it like a hotel and resort, always willing to party; looking for my next love. My potential, the one I've always been told about, may have been reached, and I wouldn't be stuck on the "8-year plan", counting my pennies to see if I have enough for the upcoming semester's tuition. I may have finished my Bachelor's before the banks decided it was time they needed me to shell out my entire paycheck to barely cover my student loan payments. I would not be stuck at the dead-end, part-time job, not even scraping by.
        In another life, I would listen to my heart. I would paint the images in my head. I would unleash the spigget holding back all those words that rattle in my brain. I would create worlds with those words and entertain the masses, showing them new views of their lives. I would simply unleash my right brain upon the world. I would make a change. I would leave my mark in history.
        In another life, I wouldn't be so caught up with the big picture. I would find myself in the woods, on a farm, in the mountains, by the beach, the waves crashing ceaselessly scrubbing away my pain. I would explore and discover the world for myself, instead of searching for pictures and words on the Web.
        In another life, I would be a Warrior for Justice. I would right the wrongs. I would show the world that those in power have hidden behind the curtain. I would seek the truth, and I would find it. 
        In another life, I would be the best version of myself. I would take advantage of the limitless possibilities we each take for granted and squander over time. I would have found myself in a different situation. I'd make my own niche. I'd find my own corner of the world. 
        In another life, I would let everyone know how much I care about them, how much they've meant to me. 
        In another life, I would be your first. 
        In my life, I work everyday to make sure I'm your last.

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